"Good" resolutions? It's been a
long time since you gave up the concept. You're right, we never hold them. And
sex does not escape. So here are our counter-resolutions sex for 2018.
You spent your 2017 year forwarding to
your guy all the articles on how to succeed in cunnilingus? The truth is that
he probably did not read them and if he read them, the result of the races is
disturbing. Our motto for 2018: we are never better served than by ourselves!
Instead of spending your energy on making it a clit expert, spend your money
instead, invest in a competing vibe (the coolest are at Smile Makers) and leave
it to the pros (you, so).
Stop listening to this girlfriend who
arrives every other time with straw in her hair because she and her traveling
penis do it everywhere, on the back, on the belly and inverted culbuto. Why not
give a chance to programmed and routine sex? We find our Deliveroo + Netflix +
missionary combo very pleasant and accommodating for everyone (those who do not
want to get a urinary infection in the middle of the road, for example). And
the routine is good no? It's reassuring, effective, and it gives us time to do
something else. Like working and listening to the sex chronicles of our
girlfriend full of straw precisely.
Never call back
It's ugly, it's bad, but everyone does it.
Put your good morals and good education in the trash and assume to become the
most detestable Tinder plans. We even see it as an empowerment thing. That the
night was catastrophic or ecstatic, to say that anyway we will not call back,
it puts us in the position of the boss. And it's always good to take. For ego,
for women, and for our mobile plan.
Do not wax
Have you ever wondered why you would
suffer martyrdom every three weeks at Body Minute (and pay for it) while you
have sex in the dark most of the time? We, we say no to the dictat of soft hair
and refreshes and we say yes to the big tuft maintenance zero. And we are
lucky, the trend is with us. We no longer count the 2.0 manifests of girls who
break the taboo of the hair. Instagramers, bloggers or edgy zadistes, they all
let themselves grow clumps. It will make you a good argument when your guy will
ask you if you plan to make braids with.
Open the toilet door
You are not tired of this daily ballet
when it comes time to go to the bathroom? Put some music, run the water, build
a castle in PQ in the bottom of the bowl. All this for what ? So that at home,
everyone remains a princely creature with bionic digestion and armpits that
smell blueberry? Our bet: To leave the bathroom door open is the future of the
couple. On arrival, we promise you more complicity, more laughter, and a
reduced PQ budget. Banco.
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